Every local has a tale about the Baboon Biker. Legend has it he was a former circus animal who was killed during a performance when his main rival sabotaged the brakes on his stunt-cycle. Then he made some sort of deal with the devil — the details are a bit sketchy — and now his specter can be seen riding this sweet motorcycle around town. Not a bad deal, all in all.
In seemingly tough times like these, I like to turn to the lessons of Mohandas Gandhi for some perspective. Gandhi, of course, faced harsh oppression — the likes of which most of us will never know — and helped free the Indian people from British rule through nonviolent resistance.
Some say he’s a myth. Others say a ghost. Still others say a phantom (which is basically a ghost). But everyone here knows the name Hot Sauce Bandito. It was in these canyons that his revolution began.
Oh sure, we “landed on the Moon.” Riiiight. Just like 9/11 was an “Al Qaeda job” and Jimmy Carter “wasn’t” an alien reptile sent to destroy us. Come on, people! It was clearly staged in a Hollywood studio. Why? Think about it. It was the height of the Cold War. We had to trick the Russians into thinking we were ahead of them.
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