Every local has a tale about the Baboon Biker. Legend has it he was a former circus animal who was killed during a performance when his main rival sabotaged the brakes on his stunt-cycle. Then he made some sort of deal with the devil — the details are a bit sketchy — and now his specter can be seen riding this sweet motorcycle around town. Not a bad deal, all in all.
In seemingly tough times like these, I like to turn to the lessons of Mohandas Gandhi for some perspective. Gandhi, of course, faced harsh oppression — the likes of which most of us will never know — and helped free the Indian people from British rule through nonviolent resistance.
Some say he’s a myth. Others say a ghost. Still others say a phantom (which is basically a ghost). But everyone here knows the name Hot Sauce Bandito. It was in these canyons that his revolution began.
Oh sure, we “landed on the Moon.” Riiiight. Just like 9/11 was an “Al Qaeda job” and Jimmy Carter “wasn’t” an alien reptile sent to destroy us. Come on, people! It was clearly staged in a Hollywood studio. Why? Think about it. It was the height of the Cold War. We had to trick the Russians into thinking we were ahead of them.
I know how it is. These days it seems like everyone you know is working at their dream job. Or going on amazing vacations. Or posting pictures of themselves skydiving naked over the Galapagos. But I’m here to tell you, “Slow down, you’re doing fine!”
As part of his effort to keep the forest a family place, Mayor Brownbear announced a plan to clean up the notorious Nutpacking District, a stretch of hollow trees known for its “exotic squirrel” clubs. Under the mayor’s proposal, clubs that allow heavy petting would hereby be prohibited from selling birdseed. And all clubs would have to close by the time the owls come out.
Is your vision 20/20? How about your paranoia-vision? Now you can challenge onlookers to test their vision with the eye chart everyone should read. As the famous saying goes, “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.” We couldn’t have said it better ourselves, though we could shorten it a bit, change the spacing, work in some color…
The legend that is Felix the Cat lives on! Since his appearance in the 1920s silent movie era he has become a character we all know and love! This vintage style face print tee from Goodie Two Sleeves features the lovable rogue sporting a huge cheeky grin!
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